Dracula Untold (2014)

Dracula Untold (2014).

If you tell a story called something-or-other untold, isn’t it then immediately, uh, you know, told?

This was not a bad movie. I can’t say it was a great movie, but it wasn’t a bad movie. It lacked something. I don’t know what it lacked. Budget? Attention to detail? Pacing? A few more good iconic frames? Hard to tell. This could have done with a touch of the 300 treatment: a bit more clarity, a few more iconic shots, a bit more over the top styling, a bit brighter in the bright shots and a bit grimmer in the dull shots. Because basically the plot was totally the same: the Turks are coming and you can’t stop them unless [insert heroic sacrifice here].

Also, I wonder how fast a cloud of bats would need to be going to cause a massive explosion effect upon impact with the ground?

And how the f*ck did the bad guys just sneak into the monastery while everyone’s backs were turned?

Luke Evans did well, it’s a shame the movie wasn’t a bit better all round.

Also, it could have done with a proper ending.