2012 (2009)

2012 (2009) 158min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi | 13 November 2009 (UK) Summary: A frustrated writer struggles to keep his family alive when a series of global catastrophes threatens to annihilate mankind.
Countries: USALanguages: English, French, Tibetan, Mandarin, Russian, Hindi, Portuguese, Latin, Italian, Spanish

Two hours and thirty eight minutes of John Cusack’s character running for his life. Two hours. Thirty eight minutes. In which the world ends in slow motion, except there is hope for humanity (by abandoning most of it to die, investing in eugenics and other questionable actions, generally. It’s ok. Rich people can buy their way to safety.)

The CGI holds up surprisingly well for a movie that is, at the time of writing, 11 years old. In fact, it was better than some of the CGI in Wonder Woman and that is only 3 years old right now!

Not much else holds up as well as the CGI. The main lead has separated from his wife and two kids, and she has a new male partner in her life. The main lead heroically saves all of them but right at the end the new male partner is conveniently bumped off so that all of the selfless heroics can pay off with the suggestion of a renewed relationship with his ex. It’s an undeserved redemption.

There may as well have been no female lead characters in this movie at all. The ex wife is there to be ushered around and look after the children. The much-younger trophy girlfriend of the Russian billionaire is there to show how plucky she can be in the face of adversity. The President’s Daughter is there to fall in love with the lead scientist.

I didn’t expect much from this movie except to fill up a dark, cold winter evening while we all languished indoors vaguely unwell. It did fulfil that requirement, but only in the same empty-calorie way that a fizzy drink nearly quenches thirst.

Leave a Reply