watched this

Little Monsters (2019)

Little Monsters (2019) 1h 33min | Comedy, Horror | 15 November 2019 (UK) Summary: A washed-up musician teams up with a teacher and a kids show personality to protect young children from a sudden outbreak of zombies.
Countries: UK, Australia, USALanguages: English

It would be harsh and possibly even unfair to state with certainty that the yellow dress is very nearly the best part of this movie, and yet I feel so compelled to do so.

Where does this movie go so wrong? It starts with our – Dave – and his shouty, spiteful, childish break up with his girlfriend. He ends up sleeping on the sofa at his sister’s house, where he proceeds to be a truly awful uncle to his young nephew Felix. That is, until he realises that Felix’s teacher is totally hot and so he volunteers to help chaperone a trip to a local attraction.

The local attraction is next to a military testing facility, from which zombies promptly escape.

Dave continues to suck. He sucks so bad that he gives food to his nephew that he is life-threateningly allergic to, insists on giving the required EpiPen shot and does so inaccurately, forcing the real hero of the movie (Miss Caroline, the teacher) to go out into a infested landscape to get a spare.

In fact, Dave sucks so bad that the movie has to introduce a new character that sucks even harder than he does: a children’s TV presenter that is alcoholic and addicted to sex and boastful and potty mouthed and cowardly and fat. This new character has just one part to play: to make Dave look more deserving of a redemption arc than the zombie with face full of porcupine quills.

Of course, by the end of 1 hour and 33 minutes, Dave is transformed to a ukelele-playing, Neil-Diamond-singing, likeable man who understands all his issues and is going to be a decent human being from this day onwards. There is even an obligatory shot where his sister is allowed to gaze adoringly at them all while they are in a quarantine tent. He gets his arc and frankly I think the movie is somewhat the worse for that.

Meanwhile, Miss Caroline is since she holds together her job, her class, and nearly all of her dignity during the combined onslaught of the car-wreck that is Dave, the zombie outbreak, the other awful guy. She is only held back from being a real female hero by the script requiring Dave to save them by driving a tractor very badly.

This movie is sadly right down there in the category.

2 Comments

Leave a Reply