Deadly Instincts (1997)

Breeders (1997) 90min | Horror, Sci-Fi | 21 October 1997 (USA) Summary: An alien travels to Earth on a meteorite and mates with humans to preserve its species and destroy humanity.
Countries: UKLanguages: English

Why did they put this on DVD anyway?

Bulldog-5, IMDB review

Good question, Bulldog-5. Good question. You’ve clearly already seen this hideous mockery of a real movie, so I can’t bring myself to suggest that you try the Rifftrax version (being of course how we sampled this wretched monstrosity in the first place).

Anyway. Back to the movie. Our hero of dubious quality in this outing is Ashley, who works as an art teacher at some poorly defined school for young women although they do all appear to be roughly his age anyway. He’s clearly only there because the school has massive safeguarding issues, since he’s having a relationship with one of his students.

Fortunately the tone of the movie is lightened by the arrival of a meteorite landing in the car park and punching a hole down into the mysterious large sewer system that the school is situated on top of. I can’t help but wonder why schools in these kinds of movies end up being built on these death traps. It’d be a bit like allowing developers to build houses on flood plains, right? Bah, what would I know?

The “meteorite” contains a human woman, who will be resolutely referred to as a ‘girl’ throughout the entire movie, and an alien. The alien likes to abduct human women and either get them to carry his eggs or impregnate them. Yes, there’s a difference. No, I’m not going to go into it. The role of the human woman is less clear. She spends a lot of the movie running around in inappropriate footwear and scanty clothing, looking mysterious.

I don’t really think that I need to explain any more about the plot, do I? Good, because I’m not going to. It’s generally a very bad movie, only made moderately better by making it into a funny movie instead.

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