Our dear, irreverent friends at Rifftrax are here to help us through another old movie and this one, my dear, is a total corker.
Let me see, if, for a change, I can start a review by summing the entire plot up in one short sentence. The trigger for a nuclear weapon has gone missing, and somehow it falls to a few ragtag individuals to sort it out. A retired (possibly?) CIA agent, his daughter in the FBI, his news reporter daughter hunting a bank fraud scandal, a scurrilous banker and his noble bodyguard, and a pimp are all involved in the story about how this dangerous item is not sold to a dodgy looking bloke with a tea-towel on his head. There are many, many other characters as well.
The two sisters, by the way? The titular ‘Honor’ and ‘Glory’, perhaps, I hear you saying? No! They are ‘Joyce’ and ‘Tracy’! Of course! ‘Joyce Honor’? ‘Tracy Glory’? No! I say thee nay, a thousand times nay! They are Joyce and Tracy Pride.
So where does the… I can hear you begin to think.
The answer is that it does not.
All of it does not.
But all of it does know martial arts. Yes! All of it. Not nearly as bad as the martial arts from Velvet Smooth but none the less a bit dodgy. I’m not even going to try and discuss the dubious heroic merits of the two female leads, since both of them need a separate male helper each plus their dad to get through this movie. It’s not romantic, it’s demeaning.
Bonus feature: this may be the first movie I can recall for some time where you can play ‘spot the severed head of a dragon on the wall’.